To the Three Most Abused Items I Own: An Apology

To My Material Belongings Who Feel Slighted,

I apologize. Today’s Daily Post prompt, Wronged Objects, has drawn my attention to the past wrongs which I have committed against you. I have many apologies to make, as I regularly abuse the items in my life–I am careless. Please bear with me as I address an abbreviated litany of grievances against me on the behalf of my belongings, who I once thought were inanimate.

First, my computer. I know it’s not your fault that you’re not loading those web pages fast enough or if you get so overwhelmed that you must close the window to save your own sanity. I did not understand before that you were not doing it out of malevolence but out of self-protection. I’m sorry for verbally abusing you so much. No one deserves that. Also, I once believed that pressing buttons harder would solve the problems, but now that you point out how asinine that logic is…I see what a fool I am.

To my phone: I can see that you’re getting annoyed with how much I turn you on and off. You’re slowing down and trying to stay keep a blank screen out of spite. Sometimes you even take screen shots of whatever I’m doing just to get my attention (which, by the way, is not appreciated). Well, I’ve finally heard you. I promise to give you a rest sometimes, as I find you to be very valuable and I would not like to replace you. You just do what you need to do, and don’t die until I can find another to take your place.

And I owe my biggest apology to you, backpack. I stuff you so full that sometimes I think your zippers will rip. Unlike the phone and computer, you take this abuse in stride and you even succeed with it. You carry everything I fill you with (pretty much)! I also stuff you into lockers and tight spaces, then try to pull you out by the handle between the shoulder straps. I also try to hang you by that handle (even though you bear 50 pounds-worth of stuff), and you have still not ripped or unraveled. A miracle! That’s perfect for me! You’re perfect for me. I’m sorry that I roughhouse you like this, but you hold up so well so I can’t help but push the limits of your abilities. If you promise to last me at least until I finish college, I promise to do my best to not cram my whole bookshelf into you. Deal?

To the rest of my belongings who feel abused, you know who you are. If you feel that you require an extra apology if you weren’t mentioned in this letter, then please feel free to bring your qualms to me. Let me know what I can do to make your existence better. But for now, this must remain a general apology only because if I created a formal apology for all of you at once, I could fill an entire blog. So, for now, to the general audience: I’m sorry. I have been an awful owner, and I am heartily sorry. Please forgive me. I will do my best to treat you all with more kindness!

Gently Yours,

QR

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