In response to the Daily Prompt’s suggestion for today called “Getting Seasonal:”
Hello again! I’m back again! A very taxing finals week kept me away this time, and I’ve never been more ready for break. This year, the holidays are both something to get through and something I need in order to have a breather. They’re something to get through because (like many a family out there) some family drama lurks around, making things a little less-than-perfect. The holidays are a breather because this was a particularly trying and packed semester.
During this past finals week, however, I had a bit of a catastrophe. It came in the form of a sudden *development which prevented me from studying abroad next semester (an opportunity for which I have spent the last three-to-four months preparing for–there are many loops to jump through). It was so sudden that, once it happened, I felt like I had fallen headlong into some brick pavement. For the next few days, all I could see were the lost stars floating in my vision and a grey sky while I performed the necessary damage control. I dazedly took my first final of the week, which I now don’t remember (thank God most of my final grades were for projects). And I got through it, though. In the end, it’s like one of those “first-world problems” kind of things, but it was my dream. I had said that I was going to do this when I first entered college three years ago, and I’ve said it over and over since. I was so ready. I had everything in, my lists made up, people contacted…only to call it all off at the end of the semester. I’m trying not to be bitter about it. In the grand scheme, it’s ok. Perhaps this just wasn’t the semester for me to go. I’m just not over it yet.
The part I’m most upset about is not the fact that I’m not going, but that I put so much work and money (which I won’t get back) into it only to be thwarted. If I had known sooner, I would never have signed up at all. I can handle a shorter stint abroad. I’m disappointed mostly because I spent a semester harrying myself over preparations that would would not matter by the end of the semester. What a waste of time. That’s one of the things that gets me the most. So because of my changed destination for the Spring semester, the holidays are again something to just get through because I’m not even in a very bright mood yet (which I usually am at this time of year), so I’ll feel a little off next to everyone else celebrating. This too shall pass, but I’m still trying to let it go.
On the other hand, we have a Secret Santa party yet tonight, so that will be fun! I wrapped my gift in paper with a Christmas lights pattern and tied it with lots of shiny red ribbon curls. The name tag is a little paper poinsettia I had fun making. Time to go get in some more Christmas cheer!
Happiness to you and yours.
*I haven’t given details about that this “development” simply because I feel that it is not important.