I take the good moments and tuck them away for later when I need them.
It is stored in a little topic-relevant chest to be installed in my curated hall
My favorites are saved for alone-times, so that I can enjoy how juicy they are
When I need one I huddle into myself and peek at the bright gem inside,
treating myself to another laugh at it. I take a dusting of it with me.
The quality ones last for weeks at least before I have taken so much shine-dust
with me after each use that it its potency is diminished to a chuckle.
Hey! I’ve been away for a while again. I found that, although I have had MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF FREE TIME during this past winter break, I could not bring myself to start up posting again. I have recently discovered an article, however, which has helped remind me why I like to write at all: “Writing Your Way to Happiness” By Tara Parker-Pope of the New York Times. I like spilling my mind onto the paper (I keep a journal as often as possible) so that I can look at it. Then I like to put it away and forget about it. Then I love going back to edit things while reminding myself of where I’ve been. There’s a calming quality about that. It’s like, if I can organize my thoughts on the paper, I may also be able to add more definition to the modge-podge of experiences that is life. This reflection also helps me put my “tragedies” into perspective. What I thought of as my Titanic disaster at the time later turns out to be a little leaf sinking to the bottom of a puddle along my path to something else. The end-of-the-world brand of broken hearts end up being more like the chipped edge of a teacup which I can still drink out of.
Recently, my Titanic was being denied the experience of spending a semester abroad. I found out only a month before I was set to leave (visas ordered, plane tickets bought, things notarized…). I felt guilty for feeling so broken over it, but in fairness it had been a dream of mine from before I even began college almost four years ago. I had spent those years dreaming about it and telling everyone, and I spent all of last semester jumping through loops and paying all of the necessary fees (every time, only just barely able to pay the bills). My heart was definitely in it! And I felt so proud that I had done all of that work all by myself. It’s taking longer than I expected to get over it, though I am better than I was. I’m trying very hard not to be bitter about having had all that time and money go to complete waste. I’m trying to gracefully accept the perpetual advice, “Maybe there’s a reason you were supposed to stay back” (true though it may be). I want to get geared up for this semester without begrudging my own presence here. I have work to do. I need to move on. I do not have time to continue to have bad irritated moods or tear up when I think about it. I still can’t figure out why I haven’t gotten out of this funk yet when it’s been a month since this all blew up in my face. It’s not like someone died now, is it? But when I think about other places or see that a friend has had a wonderful adventure somewhere else, I can’t help but notice my heart aching a little. I feel a little cheated, I think. Perhaps this feeling will further dissipate when classes begin and I have something else to care about, like good grades. I hope so. I’m tired of feeling sad and angry and jealous, and I’ve got to stop taking my frustration out on my loved ones. I need this Titanic to become a little leaf in a puddle soon.
Too much? Perhaps. Buy maybe this’ll help me just get a move on already. It’s time. If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for bearing though it!
Anyway. Back to that article! I completely believe in the power of reflective writing to help you change your perspective on your world. I’ve always been a big fan of journaling for that reason. To accentuate my zeal for journal-keeping, here is a list of 101 Reasons to Write a Journal. I highly recommend. Though, if you’re on here at WordPress writing your own blog already, I’m probably just preaching to the choir. Write on, friends, and be happy.
Today, I am borrowing a prompt from the December NaBloPoMo prompts: “Gandhi said, ‘Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.’ Agree or disagree? Is there more to happiness than that?”
I agree! It sounds like, when all three of these things are in accordance for you, then you’re being your true, genuine self…and I can’t think of anything more gratifying than that. It’s hard to always be at a place where your mind, words, and actions all coincide peacefully with each other. When at least two of these things are out of sync, you probably feel it. When what you think goes against what you do, it can feel like running your hand against the grain of very rough wood. When your spoken words don’t resemble your thoughts, then it can feel like you’re about to explode (there was a lot of THAT going on this holiday season…).
Then again…sarcasm can be a joy. It’s when your thoughts don’t match up with your words, too, but the situation is exploited for the benefit of an audience which enjoys verbal irony. And that can either be a bunch of fun or a load of bother. For people who revel in being contrary, this is an awesome opportunity. For others, it is a woeful pain. Depends on the situation and what you like to do about it.
So it’s great if your thoughts, words, and actions all work towards the same thing! When they don’t, though, it’s up to you to figure out what to do and how to feel about it.